#138: Overcoming mindset blocks to lose 8 kgs easily with Clare Wood
Today, my beautiful friend Clare, mother of 2 and business owner, shares her journey to sustainably losing 8 kgs in a year - after attempting my 3 Week Body Reset in 2020 and not being able to follow through due to mindset blocks.
She WAS ready in 2023 and has so much to share about how she has done this whilst not feeling like she is on a diet at all. She made very simple tweaks that she was able to keep up with, week after week whilst stil enjoying alcohol and meals out.
It truly can be easy and in todays podcast we really discuss why mindset is so important, what could be holding you back and why ALWAYS focussing on the long game, quitting the perfection mindset and ditching the scales is the key to sustainable weight loss that you can keep off.
I hope this episode inspires you!
Links:
Start your weight loss journey now: 3 Week Body Reset
Continue your journey and figuring out YOUR own balance in the Health with Bec Tribe
Download my FREE eBook with 4 15 minute meals: click here
Explore my free recipes, other eBooks & website: Click here
Follow me on instagram: @health_with_bec
Clare's instagram: Clare_wood_coach
Clare's website: www.clarewood.com
Read This Episode:
In today's episode I have a guest who is actually a really good friend of mine and this is a bit of a different case study episode for you. It is a success story but it's one where Clare Wood actually started my 3 Week Body Reset 4 years ago, but she wasn't in the right mindset back then to continue on and really make the changes that were necessary for her health and this can be very common with women, so I'm so excited to share this episode with you because it took her a couple of years to actually develop the right mindset skills and be ready to get into it again.
When she did get into it again and she started following all the principles from my approach, she lost 8 kilos. She has been exercising regularly. She's feeling so strong, fit and confident and she just really wanted to come on the podcast to share lots of mindset tips with you and just talk about her journey, how she did this and how she got to the place where she was in the right mindset to actually give it a go again and make the progress that she has.
It's very common for women to start a program or start anything, but unless you have the right mindset tools and you feel ready in yourself, it can be hard to make changes because all changes, if they're a bit different to what you're doing now are challenging and they're hard, so you have to be in the right mindset. Without further ado, let's bring Clare onto the podcast to share all of her mindset tips and tricks with you, so that you can get in the right mindset to start your health journey too …
BM: Hello, Clare. Oh, I'm so excited to talk to you again, but now you're on my podcast instead of me being on yours. Like I've just said in the intro, I've been friends with Clare for nearly four years now, and she did my 3 Week Body Reset, three or four years ago and has ever since been following the principles and to this day, she has lost eight kilos and not only that, she's just feeling so much stronger, so much more confident. She's going to the beach and wearing her bikinis when she didn't used to feel that confidence before.
We were chatting the other day because me and Clare talk all the time. We've become such good friends and she lives in Brisbane. She's got two kids - two boys, Jackson and Hunter, 6 and 8 and so she's a mum of two kids. She runs her own business like I do. She's an amazing Business Coach and that's actually how I met her. I flew to Brisbane four years ago to meet her and my friend Steph in real life because my gut was telling me to meet you both as I've said this on previous podcast episodes quite a lot. I've been on Clare's podcast a few times, but I needed a lot of help four years ago with a business coach and Steph really helps in helping people grow their online businesses.
So I flew there, had a session with both of them and we just instantly clicked, didn't we?
CW: Yeah, it feels like I've known you for ages, but also that it was just yesterday, if that makes sense?!
BM: I know. It's crazy. We've got quite a beautiful story and it's really nice that we are both in the same field of running and growing businesses and we both really prioritise our health in order for us to feel motivated and inspired and energised every day to do what we do, because it's non-stop and you need a lot of dedication. Since Clare came into my life, she has been such a big part of my journey, which she never realises.
Having like-minded friends who are doing the same kind of thing to really celebrate your wins and that you can talk to when you're struggling has made such a huge difference and Clare really showed me what was possible for me. She was like - “Bec, I can see you doing huge things” and really changed my mindset four years ago and I attribute so much of my growth to having friendships like this in my life.
I actually speak about this in my bonus podcast #Episode #136: (BONUS) The Tools & Mindset Shifts That've Lead To Buying My Dream Home & How Your Dreams Can Come True Too so I just wanted to say all of that as a little bit of an intro before we actually get into the story, but it's really special, our friendship, and I'm really excited to just have a chat with you today about this topic, which is your health journey, which we haven't really done before.
CW: Yeah, I'm really excited to share with you and your listeners as well, because I think it's important to recognise how much you can make these changes, no matter what stage you're at in your journey and no matter what blocks you've come up against before …
BM: And no matter what your life looks like as well, because you are so similar to the majority of the women who come across me and invest in my programs. There's a huge mindset block which we can talk through, but so many women are Mums and they have full or part-time jobs, so they're busy and so many of them say - I don't have the time, but then eventually they do get to a breaking point where they realise they do need to invest in their health because it's only going to help their lives get better. They think - Oh, it was actually just a limiting belief before, because it's easier than I thought and when I make the time for it, I can do it and it's made me feel better. So, I'm excited for you to talk about your journey because there's so many women listening that are also Mums and that are really busy too.
Let's go back to the start when you decided to try my program and when was that exactly?
CW: So that was about three or four years ago and knowing the backstory - most people in my family are either overweight or obese. I'm not someone who's naturally a thin person genetically, but I've always been someone who's been very conscious about my health and fitness and I've had to work very hard, probably a lot harder than what I've seen other people around me, most of my life and people have always said - “you're lucky” and I'm like, no, I'm very conscious about what I eat and I've always been someone who exercises regularly, but when I had my first son, eight years ago and this might be a little bit triggering for someone, but this is my journey and my truth, but after I had him, when I was breastfeeding, the weight just fell off me.
I went back to my pre-baby weight within a couple of months. Everyone was like, you look fantastic! I thought it was no big deal and I think that breastfeeding, for me anyway, seemed to help me lose weight. Then when I got pregnant with my second child, I breastfed him as well and for some reason, I really struggled to lose the weight after him. There were lots of physical changes. I was 37 when I had him, so a couple of years older and my hair changed, my body changed and after him, I have just really struggled to ever get back to that pre-baby weight.
I put on up to 10 kilos at certain times over my usual weight and I think that’s when we met and I started to learn about your business. I'm like - oh my gosh, this is so cool, I want to join her program! So I jumped into the 3 Week Body Reset and I didn't recognise it at the time, but in hindsight, I realised that I wasn't probably ready for it at that stage and this is why it's really interesting now having gone through and lost the weight. It's funny how I can look back at that time and think - I just obviously wasn't ready!
BM: Yeah, let's talk about that because some women join the 3 Week Body Reset, they get results, they continue and it's great. Other women need to start it again, a week or two into it and then other women restart 10 times and I've really learnt that you have to be ready with your mindset. You have to be ready to do it and to make the decision for you and if you're not ready enough, I feel like people just don't complete it. Now that you did that three or four years ago, and when you said you've looked back, what do you think was holding you back then? Why wasn't it the right time?
CW: I think the thing is we have stories and I know you talk so much on the podcast about mindset and in your socials and everything like that, but for me, I had formed a story about I'm never going to get back to my pre-baby weight. It's too hard. I don't have time. There is a process when you do things differently, that's uncomfortable and I think that I really got stuck in that story of - I have to eat differently. I have to do things differently if I really do want to see a shift and for me, that discomfort … no, it's too hard! I'm not ready for it and it's not to say that change has to be really hard or losing weight does, but you are going to have to do things differently and it does feel a bit uncomfortable if you're not used to doing that.
In hindsight, I was so caught up in my stories around it, that I just wasn't ready to take the action to get the results and then just recently now that I have, I’m like - why did I not do this sooner?
BM: So much comes down to mindset, doesn't it? and you and I both say this all the time, no change is easy and it does feel uncomfortable, so you've got to push through that if you want something enough. In my programs, I know that you'll probably think and say this, and maybe that's probably why you wanted to go back to it - even though weight loss with so many other diet plans (I don't want to talk mine up too much but I dom because I believe in it so much), a lot of people's past experiences are hard and you do have to eat boring food and so many out there don't really educate you on how to eat out and so you think that weight loss has to be super restrictive and it means that you have to stop drinking alcohol and going out and having fun. I think that's why there's so much hesitation around. Do you think that was part of it for you? Did you try anything else in the past that scared you and that's where the stories were coming from?
CW: I think for me, and like I said it was making changes (and it's not even that it's that hard), but it's just the discomfort of change. So if you're used to ordering a big plate and piling up the chips and then you aren't doing that anymore, and it's not to say you can't eat chips but for the most part you're choosing healthy options, it feels uncomfortable.
The first couple of times that you do something, it's hard. When you first go to the gym and you haven't been for a while, you get sore afterwards, but you feel great afterwards and I think for me, the biggest thing that I had struggled with when I first did the 3 Week Body Reset was the concept of fasting. I'd never done it before. I really struggled with it. I couldn't wrap my head around it and I was caught up in the idea that I had to do this. I had to do this a certain way and now that I've let go of a lot of those stories, I'm like, it's not even something that I really think about a lot, if that makes sense?!
BM: Yeah, you've got to be prepped for it. For everyone listening, I introduce two days of fasting in the third week just to get people to try it, but weeks one and two are just about helping you rid the sugar cravings first, help your body adapt to a slightly lower carb lifestyle compared to what most people are used to and then what happens is that it really stables out your blood sugars and then you can wake up not feeling starving and you have stable energy when you've got rid of your sugar cravings, and then fasting is more doable and then people try it. If it's not for them, they don't have to continue it.
It's just a little thing for them to try but I see exactly what you mean. No matter what you're doing is going to be a bit tricky, but I do feel like I try my best with my plans to make sure that you still feel full from the meals. It's still yummy food. There's still blank meals to go out and socialise and have fun, like the times that I've come to Brisbane. When we were chatting the other day, it surprised me what you ate at a buffet breakfast, but it shows that you're just living the 80/ 20 lifestyle too.
CW: I think that's the thing that makes it a lot more maintainable as well, is that it's not a diet. I think that a lot of people go on a diet, lose weight, and then evidently put the weight back on and I've seen a lot of friends of mine who've done that. They go and do the shake diet and you see that and think - oh my gosh, you look amazing! They've lost 20 kilos and then they start eating normally again and of course they just put all the weight back on because they haven't learned how to eat healthily. They've just been skipping meals, having shakes and yes, it gets results, but it's not sustainable.
You can't live on bloody shakes for the rest of your life and because they're not actually learning the tools, how to do things in a sustainable way, as soon as they start drinking alcohol, eating out again and eating normally, they just put the weight back on again. I think that's the thing that I really love is that I feel like I found a really sustainable way to feel fit and healthy.
BM: Absolutely. I always say the way you lose weight should be the way that you keep it off and I truly believe in, unless you are enjoying what you're doing each week as you're reaching a goal, whether it's weight loss or running a business, unless you're enjoying it, obviously some days are going to feel a bit hard, but if you're not enjoying it, then you'll only do it for a week or two and then you'll give up, so you've got to figure out a way to reach your goals in an enjoyable way. That's why so many other diets fail and I say that with exercise as well - find something that you enjoy and don't push yourself too hard and do a huge cycling class if you don't enjoy it, because then you'll scare yourself and you'll give up.
Tell us about what's happened between then, like three to four years ago and now, because I've noticed in your stories that you're looking so strong. I've noticed for the last six months, but it might be a year or more, you've been sharing a lot more home workouts which I really love that you share because Clare will be in her living room and you can see her kids in the background, sometimes joining in and you're really showing people how it's so doable to fit into your life without any excuses. You've really started to get into strength training and I can see that you're doing small bits every day and then now a year on, you can really see the changes. To me, it looks like it's been a beautiful, sustainable life in a slow burn, really good way because you're still out having so much fun. Is this all right? Am I getting everything right?
CW: I guess the big shift happened for me, when my hubby about a year ago lost about 10 kilos. It's funny. He's very conscious about his weight and I've always said, I don't care. I think you look great and it doesn't affect me at all but the reality is that it doesn't matter what other people are telling you, it matters how you feel about yourself and he felt insecure in himself.
He started changing up the way that he was eating and he lost weight and I could just see the confidence glowing through from him and then that's when I thought, I'm going to try leaning into this a bit more and the reality is I haven't actually changed that much about what I'm doing and how I'm doing things. I've been going to the gym actually for years but it's just like the slight little tweaks and I think this is the other thing too is that sometimes people think I've got to be doing like 120%. Do you know what? If you actually just make small little changes like I'm going to cut out my chocolate after lunch, I'm going to be really consistent with my workouts and that's the difference.
I used to work out, but it would be when it would fit in with my husband and the kids and now I'm like, no, I work out every second day without fail and so I'm actually only doing four workouts a week, but I don't miss them. I am very consistent with them. If I can't get to the gym, I do it in the lounge room. I have kids bouncing all over me and I still just make it happen and all those little tiny little tweaks and decisions, that's what adds up and gets to the results and here we are, I've lost eight kilos. I'm feeling so good and confident about myself.
I remember that friends of ours would say - “Hey, let's go to the beach!” and after having my second son, I would think - “Oh, I don't want to go, let's make up an excuse. I don't want people to see me”. I'd be sitting there covering my tummy or trying to hide my bum from these friends of ours that were so fit and healthy and these days, it's not like I've got the perfect body or anything like that, but I just feel a lot more confident in myself. I don't get that sense of dread like I don't want to go to the beach or the swimming pool because I'm embarrassed of my body. I feel a lot more confident in myself.
BM: Yeah, that's so amazing. I feel like I feel more confident in my body since I've started consistently strength training as well. I'm no skinnier than I used to be a few years ago, I'd never get on the scales at all, but I think there's definitely merit to getting stronger and just feeling more confident because I relate in that way too, when you just start to feel like you're actually stronger, not skinnier, but stronger even though you've definitely lost a lot of weight, so that's so good to hear. Going back to a year ago when your husband lost weight, then did you go back to the 3 Week Body Reset? Have you been just following certain principles from it? How has your lifestyle looked a little bit in terms of what you've been eating over the last year?
CW: So it's really been like the shift back into a lot of the principles from the Tribe and from the 3 Week Body Reset - primarily fasting has been an absolute game-changer for me and the little tiny things like I love sugar after a meal, I just absolutely love it and I think that I'm also someone that can go through like binge-eating stages where I just want to grab everything and put it in my mouth.
There's a smoothie that years ago you shared with me - the Berry Smoothie. It's beautiful. If I find myself being like you're not even hungry, you're literally just eating for the sake of eating. I'll go make myself a smoothie and it’s that decision. It really is a mindset decision to say - I'm going to make healthier food choices. If I'm going out and sometimes I still want to choose the burger and chips, but my hubby and I will say - hey, do you want to share it? I don't need to eat a massive burger and chips every single time that we eat out or choosing to eat a lower carb option. My family might all be having pasta for dinner and I'll still have some, but I'll have a smaller serve and make myself a salad and I really feel like those little tiny changes mean that I can still live my fullest life. I can still go out, eat out, I can still have drinks with friends but I can also feel great in the process of doing so.
BM: 100% and it's so good to chat about that because you truly can have both. The way that I teach women to eat, it's exactly how I eat myself too and I totally believe in the 80/ 20 approach where the healthiest choices can be 80% of the time but then 20% - absolutely go out for dinner and enjoy your favourite foods. Some people love cheese and crackers and some people love hot chips and that's fine if it's just a couple of times a week when 80% you're doing your best. So it's so good to say that's how you felt and that's how it's happened. So are most of your dinners just meat and veg based kind of principles?
CW: Yeah. I love watching specifically when you share what you're eating and what you're choosing. I love food and I know that you're a big foodie too, and I think that a lot of times when you associate diet/ weight loss, you think about three beans on a plate. There's some influences I see online and I think - oh my gosh, is that all you're eating?!
Whereas you're all about just eat food, but eat healthy - choose a lower carb option, choose things that are going to fill you up so that you're not continually snacking and I guess this is for mums out there … I’ve got young boys that need more carbs than someone of my age does. So we'll still eat 90% of the food exactly the same, but I might make a salad when we have our pasta nights and I'll still have pasta, but I won't have a big bowl of it, the kids do. So it's just making little adaptations and again, still eating great food, still enjoying food, but just making little tweaks along the way.
BM: Yeah, absolutely. So you mainly follow my principles? You're doing a bit of fasting in the morning and then you're still going out and if you go out for dinner, you'll just choose healthier options when you can, otherwise you'll just sometimes go halves or just make tiny little changes?
CW: I think a big thing too is stopping eating late at night. I used to love having something just before bed and I think that makes a difference too.
BM: Oh it's so common. It's such a common thing for people to do that and so what do you think helped you stop that habit? Do you remember how?
CW: Yeah, it was totally just a mindset thing. Honestly, a lot of this stuff is. So many times I would mindlessly eat. I might go have a night out and then I'd go order McDonald's at 11 o'clock at night and then I just started to say - do I really need that right now? I'm actually not hungry at all. It's so funny how much stuff is habitual and how often you do things out of habit, like having a bit of chocolate after every single meal, just out of habit and then I started to say - I wonder if I have some yogurt and berries? Oh my gosh, I'm still getting a sweet taste after a meal, and I'm not eating something that's packed with processed sugar but this is what I mean, I think so much of it is that we know the stuff, you teach the foundations, you teach all of the actions to take, a lot of it really is making the decision to say - Hey, I'm going to make a different choice and yeah, it can be a little bit uncomfortable.
At the moment I'm trying to cut back on my drinking and sometimes I'm like - gosh, I really feel like a drink tonight and I just think -I'm going to wait until tomorrow and I can have my drinks on a Friday night and there is a little bit of discomfort, but overall you feel so much better from making those small little decisions.
BM: As humans, we all love quick gratification and it's so similar to food. I'm a foodie, you're a foodie. I think so many people in the world are foodies. If I could just eat chocolate after dinner because it tastes so good, if I could do that and still feel good and not gain heaps of weight because I have to be so conscious and try so hard, if I could just eat yummy tasting food all the time without it making me feel crap I would, but I have to be conscious all the time even though I found my balance and I've been talking about this for years and teaching this, it doesn't mean it's easy for me all the time to make the healthiest choices 80% of the time, but like you just said, you've got to have that mindset where you have to stop yourself and be like, is it worth it?
Yeah, it'll taste good for five minutes, but I guess the more in tune you become with your body and like you've said, you've found so much confidence in your bathers and you're feeling so much better and you're looking great and you learn over the years that ,aking that split second choice to have something like berries after dinner, instead of a block of chocolate or McDonald's, it's going to make such a difference because you want to keep feeling the way that you're feeling and so that is so much better than just having something that lasts for half an hour and then constantly doing that every single day and feeling crap about yourself. I think when you really realise how good healthy eating makes you feel, it does help you make that mindset shift. It's still never going to be easy because we all love food, but I always like to think of the next day and this helped especially when I had gut issues in my early twenties.
I was definitely a restrict/ binge kind of eater. To help me with those nights that I would binge, quite typically it was a Sunday for me, I would really restrict Monday to Friday and then Saturday and especially Sunday, then on Monday I would wake up and feel so bloated, tired and fatigued and two kilos heavier even though it was mainly water weight, but still, I did that for long enough and then when I started the business as well, because I really valued how I felt on a Monday, I was like, I want to feel clear-headed, not bloated, energised, confident and not puffy and when you make those connections between what you're eating and how it's making you feel, it can stop you in the moment from having a binge or choosing something that's not healthy. Is that kind of part of your story too?
CW: Yeah I definitely think that there's so much power in the micro and it's not like don't ever do things. Sometimes I want to have a big night and I know that we're going to feel crappy the next day and that's okay, and sometimes like the other night, I just felt like ice cream and I had ice cream and chocolate sauce and I'm like, I'm probably going to feel a bit bloated tomorrow and not great, but it's so rare that I do that.
I allow myself to have those experiences every now and again, but, aside from your weight, I remember when I was 18, one of my best girlfriends, she was a beanpole, one of those people that is just so naturally skinny that she could eat whatever she wanted and when I'd hang around her, and like I said, I've always had to be conscious about my eating and she would literally eat McDonald's three meals a day. She just ate so much crap and I'm like, you're so lucky and she said - “Clare, think about my actual body and my health. I know that I don't put on weight, but I just feel gross”.
She didn't exercise. She really just said, I feel gross all the time and she said, it's hard because I don't really have the incentive to because on the outside I look healthy, but she said, I'm actually not and to live like that long term - there's so many health issues and complications and I imagine if she didn't change that as she got older, that would have had a lot of knock-on effects to other areas of her life as well.
BM: Yeah, it makes the biggest difference and so many women that achieve long term success like you, and when I say that, it can be two kilos, it can be eight, it can be 20, like a bit of a weight loss until you reach a weight that you feel happy and healthy at and then you can maintain it while still living life and enjoying yourself and you do that for about a year … that's what I mean by long term success.
When people do that, every time I've interviewed them or spoken to them in the Tribe or through emails or DMS, the thing that they always say is that they don't actually focus much on the scales. They just become so addicted to how it's making them feel with their energy and their mental clarity and their confidence, so I think when you really start to focus on all of the other things aside from the scales, you become addicted to feeling good because it feels so good, doesn't it? I just can't get over it.
A few days on my Christmas break, I obviously know how it feels to have more than one or two wines because a lot of people do that. You and I do that together often when we see each other and that's fine, but I only had one drink on Christmas day, but I had Christmas pudding after dinner, I had crackers that weren't gluten-free and the next day I woke up, I don't often get bloated anymore, but I woke up and I just felt so bloated. I couldn't really get rid of the bloat for two or three days and it just reminded me. I was like, this is why I'm living this lifestyle where I try to be sugar-free and gluten-free as much as I can because it just makes you feel so good. I can't imagine life any other way. So I think that's why you've been consistent with it because when you really take the focus off the scales and really listen to how the healthy food is making you feel, not just focus on the scales, I think that really helps you stay consistent as well.
CW: The other thing that I would say that I think's been really helpful and I've heard you talk about this is also - don’t spiral! If you have a bad day or over the Christmas period, if you over-indulge, don't think - oh it's all out the door, I may as well forget all about it. I'm not going to try because for me, when I had my ice cream the other day, I still got up the next day and went to the gym. I just thought - oh, I had a bit of a blowout yesterday. Just get back into the swing of things and I think that's what I mean when I said that I was in the wrong mindset before, because it was a bit of a hiccup or a bit of a challenge and I was like - oh that's not going to work for me and instead of being like, why don't you try something a little bit differently or what if you did it this way? Or so what, you had a bad day? I think that it's very easy to downward spiral and throw the baby out with the bathwater rather than just saying - Hey, even Bec has bad days and you just get back on track and that can be really helpful as well.
BM: It's really hard to give people a formula for finding that balance because it does happen over time and you've got to stay patient with yourself and what I mean by that is that, it's so normal for people to start a health plan or an exercise plan or both, and then eat chocolate or miss a workout and think - I've ruined it. I have to go back to the start or I'll start Monday and it's not until you push through, let's say you're on a health plan and then on Friday night you have 10 glasses of wine and a bowl of pasta and heaps of chocolate - the person that continues and thinks the next day - okay, that's fine, I'm going to get back into it. If they do continue and let's say they're really good for three weeks, but they have three or four slip ups, it's not until they get to the end of the three weeks that they get on the scales or look at themselves in the mirror and think - oh my god, I've actually still lost weight, even though I drank more wine than usual or I had those three binge days and then that's how they learn that healthy eating and exercise to lose weight doesn't have to mean “perfect” eating.
That's what I try to teach women in the 3 Week Body Reset, because there are those freedom meals that I let people have, but what I'm trying to say is that I don't know if this has happened to you, but did you have to change that mindset? I'm trying to think about my own journey too and I think this is what it is - to change that mindset from thinking, I have to be perfect! If I have chocolate, I have to start from the beginning. To get from that to where you are now, where if you have a slip-up, you can get straight back on track, can you think of anything that helped you get to that point? Was it following my principles and realising that those times are fine to not be perfect, you can still get results by having an ice cream?
CW: 100% and I think that one of the things that you say again and again is don't get on the scales every day because I'd get on a scale on a Monday and then I'd be like, I've put on weight and it it really plays with your psychology around what you're trying to do. At the end of the day, the goal is to feel good about yourself and to feel confident. It's not a number on the scale. You can be like my friend who was very thin and felt gross and miserable, or you can weigh more than other people and feel great and feel confident and feel strong and that's ultimately what you're aiming for.
To be honest, my own journey, when I first started following the plan a bit more closely 12 months ago, I was not like, oh my gosh, I've lost two kilos. It was actually people around me saying - have you lost weight? I'd be like, no and then, I might jump on the scales and I'm like, oh I lost three kilos and maybe I just didn't attach too much value to it. I didn't overthink it. I'm not on a diet. I think the most important thing is that it's a lifestyle change and when you remove the detachment about “I had a bad day”, it’s just cool. I just keep on going or don't make it such a big focus around a particular number, make it about a long term thing and like I said, honestly, I was surprised. It was people around me saying, you look like you've lost weight and then I started to notice my clothes were getting bigger on me and I'm like, whoa that's crazy but it took me ages. It did not happen straight away.
I know for some people, the first month they might lose weight, I did not. It took me at least two to three months. I don't know if my body was adjusting but at the start, nothing was changing and I did not change anything. I just kept doing it and then as time went on, I was like, whoa! I must've been losing it quite slowly, but also I think that's really sustainable as well.
BM: It is. It definitely is and now that I've worked with thousands of women that have gone through the 3 Week Body Reset and then joined the Health with Bec Tribe, some people do lose weight quickly, other people have the exact same story as you. They'll do the 3 Week Body Reset and say they didn’t lose any weight, but I felt so good after it and that I'm not giving up, I'm going to the Tribe and then two or three months later, they'll be like - okay, oh my god, I'm finally starting to lose weight and so everyone just loses weight at different.
The good thing is that people are realising that they still want to continue because it's not just about weight loss. So many women are losing their bloat, so many women are gaining their energy and so it can take time. It goes back to the 80/20 thing that I'm always talking about and that you live by too. I think it makes so much sense, right? I used to have the mindset where I thought unless I'm in a calorie deficit every day, exercising most days, I won't lose weight, but I wish I could just go back then and be like - you were an idiot, because it makes sense, 80/ 20 still makes sense, you can still get results.
One of the biggest things for me was to not get on the scales, and I also used to live for an event on the weekend, so it would be like, I need to lose a kilo by that weekend, but when you take the time frame out and know that it's just going to be, it'll happen and it's a lifestyle and think of the long game that really helps and when you think of 80/ 20 - let's say you're trying to lose weight and you're in a calorie deficit for five out of seven days or 80% of the time and then two days, you're just like eating at your weight maintenance amount, which might be fairly similar principles, but a few drinks here and there. Of course, if you're doing the right thing, 80% of the time, and then you have a few slip-ups, that's still winning. That's still 80% of the time. So you're still going to get results over time.
It's like the stuff that we do in business. We make mistakes in business too, but if you keep going, you're still moving forward. I've really had to learn over the years that absolutely some days you don't have to be in a calorie deficit - 80/ 20 just makes so much sense, but it also helps you sustain it as well because you're enjoying life at the same time.
CW: I'd like to share one last thing -coming back to the Tribe and even the fact that you and I are biz friends, you become a lot of the time, the people that you're around. This is the reason why I love the community that you've created because a lot of times our eating habits come from the people around us and if you've grown up around some unhealthy eating patterns, that's very normalised to you and often when you start to go on a journey and change, people around you might get a little bit uncomfortable about it.
My sister recently also lost quite a lot of weight, she lost about 30 kilos and my mum made a comment (and my mum's rather large) about how she eats like a bird and she skips breakfast and I thought you're triggered by that otherwise, why would you make a comment? My sister looks the best she has in her adult life. She's feeling great. She's got so much more energy and confidence and I think that's why the community inside the Tribe is so cool because you're around the energy of other people who want to make improvements to their health and, if you are having hiccups or people outside who perhaps aren't as supportive, you've then got that community to come back to support you on that journey and cheer you on.
I know it's an analogy, but it's exactly the same in business. If you're around people who aren't cheering you on and celebrating your success, it's going to be a bit harder to stay on track, but when you've got that group, that community of people who are saying - hey, go you and celebrating, that's going to be your energy and inspiration to keep on going through the challenging times.
BM: 100% and being surrounded by like-minded people, is one of the biggest things that is going to keep you accountable and help you reach your goals in weight loss, but also in business. I know firsthand, like I said at the beginning of the podcast, that I was in a completely different mindset before I met like-minded business friends, like you and Steph and now Brooke.
One of the biggest keys is when you're friends with other people that are doing the same thing that you want to do, especially if they're like one or two steps ahead of you, they can show you what's possible and so sometimes you can be so stuck in what you were saying at the beginning, I'll never be able to lose weight, I'm too busy, my body just won't let me blah, blah, blah, but then when you start to see other people doing it and they're also mums and they're also busy as well, you think - if she can do it, so can I.
I swear that is such a huge key and that's what really motivated me to create the Tribe and constantly sustain the Tribe, because I think it's absolutely key and I wouldn't be here where I am in business without having like-minded business friends. I'm sure a lot of the women in the Tribe wouldn't be where they are without the beautiful community that all supports each other. It's so key!
CW: You don't know who you are inspiring by your own health journey too. Me witnessing my sister was motivation for me to say - oh my gosh, if she can go and lose 30 kilos, I can do this and my husband losing weight was the inspiration, and you don't know other people around you are watching and thinking if they can do it, maybe I can do it. You're creating a beautiful knock-on effect and positive impact to other people in your world as well.
BM: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much. That's so nice for you to say. I think the point that you said there about your mum making the comment, I actually did a podcast episode all about this - Episode #29: Ladies, we need to talk. Jealousy, competition, comparing, bitching - it needs to change. It's actually quite a common thing which always upsets me and surprises me a bit, but I've felt it in my life in other areas when people try to put you down and I've really learned that it's usually people's insecurities and all of that, but it actually does happen quite a lot when people are making eating changes.
I do want to remind everyone that it's usually if people are making a comment, it is just their own insecurity. Maybe they're wanting to quit sugar or they're wanting to make a healthy change themselves and because you're doing it, it's making them feel shit about themselves because they have maybe been trying to do it for years and can't get their mindset right, and so they're just projecting it onto you.
To help yourselves in that situation, for me, if you really focus on how good it's making you feel, then who cares what they think? I think if you learn to put yourself first enough, and you care about your goals and your health and your life enough, I truly believe that the opinion of others doesn't affect you. It doesn't matter. Do you agree because I feel the same in business? People are always going to put you down, but it doesn't affect you if you know that what you're doing is making you feel good.
CW: Sometimes it's the same people. I know when I first started talking about money and things in my business, sometimes some of the people who were like, what's she talking about? I know they're like - oh, I bought a copy of your book or I'm listening to your podcast and you're actually inspiring people as well, so focus on the positive side of it rather than the downside.
BM: There's always going to be people that put you down, but I think when you do learn that it is just usually the insecurities and then there are other people that you're inspiring, just focus on the people that you're inspiring and yourself, obviously and that helps you just stick with it as well.
I knew that this would be such a good chat because with Clare being a Business Coach, she is so into mindset tools and really helping people overcome limiting beliefs and showing them what's possible and there's just so many parallels between that and making changes with your eating and an exercise isn't there? I really hope that everyone feels inspired by that because if Clare can do it, so can you. If I can do it, so can you!
Clare, because we do have a lot of women listening that are business owners, do you want to quickly just talk about what you do and where people can find you as well?
CW: If anyone does want to connect with me I'm on Instagram at @clare_wood_coach and like you said, I'm all about helping people grow their businesses, but a lot of it is the same stuff that we've spoken about today, it's mindset and I go through periods in my business where I'm holding myself back. I know that I certainly was when it comes to weight and other goals that I've set and I think that the more that you can really start to understand that programming, like I'm doing in hindsight with my health journey, you really start to be able to create like breakthrough changes in so many different areas of your life.
I appreciate you having me on and I just want to say a massive shout out to you because the work that you do, it really is life-changing and it's so inspiring to see how many people's lives you've changed and mine as well. Thank you for the beautiful work that you put out into the world Bec.
BM: That means so much to me and I'm just so glad that we're friends. I really hope you enjoyed this episode and find it really inspiring. If you are keen to check out my programs, Step 1. is the 3 Week Body Reset and Step 2. is the Health with Bec Tribe if you get results and you want to continue on and turn your new diet into a sustainable lifestyle. I hope you learnt lots of little mindset, tips and tricks to really help you and if you like this episode, please leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It means more to me than anyone knows and it really helps other women find the podcast. Also, come and follow me on @health_with_becon Instagram, if you're not already, because I share so many behind the scenes tips, tricks and motivation to really help you on your weight loss journey as well.