#142: Navigating Life's Challenges: Staying on Track
Life's full of ups and downs. I've personally gone through a down in the last week, yet I've still stayed strong to show up for work and stay committed to my healthy habits in the best possible ways that I can.
In this episode, I want to share 4 key things that I do that help me still show up for myself and my goals, whilst equally navigating a challenge so that I don't 'throw in the towel' for an entire week or longer.
I hope this inspires you if you are going through a tough time (or for the next time you hit one!)
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In this episode, I'm going to be talking about how to get through the hard times in life and how to still kick on with your goals in some way so that you don't throw in the towel for an entire week or two weeks or a month and let your healthy habits slip away for that long because there are so many times in our lives where we're tracking along well, but then things can pop up in your life that are inevitable. Life is always up and down and in order to reach your goals, as I always say, it takes constant consistency and dedication and you've got to take small steps every single week in order to get you there.
Now, just want to say this as a bit of a disclaimer, and this is actually why I feel inspired to record this episode today, because I'm going through a hard time myself at the moment but I do just want to say that of course, there are some things in life that are extremely tragic that will put you back by a week or two or even a month and we all have different ways of dealing with those things.
There's also so many people out there, and I'm well aware of this, that have severe mental health issues and tips like what I'm going to be saying today might not be enough for people like that. I just want to say that I really hope this doesn't trigger anyone listening and I do absolutely respect the people that are going through hard things and that sometimes it isn't as easy as just following the tips in this podcast and sometimes people do need longer than what I'm about to say in this podcast to get through what they're going through.
This last week has been a challenging one for me in multiple ways. I hate conforming to the idea that everything comes in threes or when one bad thing happens, there's another one around the corner and it's all doom and gloom from there on because so many people say that and I truly believe that you attract what you put out there. So sometimes I think that things happen in threes because when one bad thing happens, you get in a negative mindset loop and then other bad things happen because of that which can happen. Even though I try my best when one bad thing happens, I'm like - okay Bec, stay positive, it doesn't mean another bad thing is going to happen. It's just been a very funny week in a few ways …
I will share it now, but my grandma passed away yesterday, so I'm recording this podcast on the day that I actually release podcasts, which is Wednesday, so that's why it's a bit delayed this morning, because I usually record it the day before, which I'm trying to get out of the habit of doing, because with what happened yesterday, it meant that I couldn't record the podcast and then if I didn't do it today, the podcast just wouldn't happen this week, but I like to stay dedicated as much as I can for the podcast. Of course, I need to take some weeks off occasionally but that's why I couldn't do it yesterday, but I am showing up today. I do feel strong enough to do this today and I think I feel strong because I’m being vulnerable and talking about how I do get through the inevitable challenging times in life.
We found out that she had taken a turn last week. It was actually just before I got on a Zoom call with about 50 members of the Health with Bec Tribe. I still stayed strong and pushed through that, which I felt very proud of, but on Saturday we did hear the news that she wouldn't have long to live, so I really did have all weekend to grieve and be by her side. I worked by her side all day Monday and really grieved for a time before I watched her pass away next to me with my mum yesterday at lunchtime.
That's all I'm going to say about that but still, yesterday morning before it actually happened and also on Monday, I was still able to show up for work to my best capacity. I still did some exercise. I still ate healthy food and I still kept the business going and this is why I want to share this podcast with you because it's definitely a lot harder when you're going through a challenge to show up and do things that you need to do and of course, it's good to give yourself grace to go through what you need to go through and I absolutely believe in that, and I'm going to be sharing tips for what I do too when I go through hard times but a lot of us have jobs and careers and businesses where you still do need to show up or families that you need to show up for, kids that you need to keep showing up for and so I just want to share in this podcast today four things that I personally do when I go through a challenging period of my life where it feels a little bit harder to show up on those days that you do feel a bit flat and how I get through them so that I don't take weeks off at a time. Also, how I just get through them emotionally as well, because there's definitely things that I've learnt over the last seven and a half years building this business …
You have to stay so resilient and so dedicated because if I fall away, then the business falls away too. I care about my clients so much, but it's not just that now, it's my team members too. I need everyone to be supported to keep this business ticking along but of course, I really believe in taking care of myself too because unless I feel good, I can't give my all to this business and this business is about helping you, so it's an equal balance that I'm always trying to work on always. I've definitely learnt things over the last seven and a half years that have helped me get through these times and stay strong and I truly do feel like I get stronger and stronger every single week and I'm very proud of how strong I've actually been in the last week.
Now the first tip that I want to share here is - setting boundaries. So what I do is, I truly let myself feel my emotions. I was really close to my grandma. She was 97. She lived a really long life, so I'm making peace with that. I'm more so just trying to be strong for my mum as well, because mum was so close to her and that's one of the most upsetting things, but in terms of how I'm staying on track, with anything that I go through in life, I set boundaries.
What I mean by setting boundaries is I really set aside time to feel my emotions and not block them out. So even if I show up for work, which I need to Monday to Friday in some capacity most days, I will give myself the entire weekend or I'll stop work early at, three or four some days and then at night, I'll just not make too many social commitments and let myself cry and get the emotions out as much as I can so that when it's work hours, I can feel as strong as I can and just do the most important things that I need to do and show up as the Bec that I need to show up as with a strong mindset and sense of power in those times that I show up.
When people push emotions aside with whatever it is that you're going through, you don't really give your all in those moments that you do need to show up for your family or business or whatever it is that you're going through, but I think that when you do give yourself that time to cry and grieve and feel whatever you're feeling, then you do have a little bit more space to show up in the way that you need to show up for your career or your family or whoever it is that you need to show up for.
Also, when you push emotions aside and you don't let yourself grieve, then it delays the healing process. So if you're trying to distract yourself, for every single minute of the day and you keep overworking and you never talk about your feelings with friends and you never let yourself cry, then usually it does come out months or even sometimes a year later, so I truly believe that to get over things faster, you need to give yourself that grace and that time to do it and that's exactly what I've been doing. So all weekend I allowed myself to do that and I think that's what's made it a little bit easier to show up for work this week and also to keep kicking on with work last week with other things that were going on in my personal and business life.
I also want to say that this has taken practice. I think with the things that I've gone through in the last year with my business challenges and personal challenges, I do feel proud of myself because I have still stayed so resilient and shown up, but that has taken so much practice. So much practice. I think if it was my first year or two of business, I would have crumbled, but I've really learnt how to stay more resilient and how to show up in times that get tough and I guess that's why I'm sharing this today because I've been through it and I get it.
The second tip that I always do as much as I can is to - reach out for support and not hold my emotions in. So I have a couple of extremely close friends that are literally like sisters to me and I talk to them as much as I can. I really do feel like when you talk about things, it can really help rather than holding them in. I will prioritise speaking to them as much as I prioritise my hours of work or exercise. I truly believe that talking about your feelings is a way to help you feel stronger and get on with the things that you need to get on with because it just makes you not feel alone and it's so powerful to talk to the right people. So talk to the people that you love and that you trust with how you're feeling. I'm always doing that.
The third thing is to - always try to find the silver lining and the positive. Look, today I'm going through waves. After I finish recording this podcast, I might have another session of crying but this 20 minutes recording this podcast, I feel strong.
I haven't gone through grief in terms of losing a family member that much in my life. I did lose my grandpa 11 years ago, ao this is a new feeling for me, but in terms of other hardships in life, when I've gone through business hardships or any other kind of hardship, what helps me get through it is always trying to find the lesson and the silver lining because when you look hard enough there, there usually is one.
For instance, with a huge business challenge that I went through last year, that was an interesting one. I've talked about this in episodes last year and also I did talk about it in the very last episode of 2023 where Kat interviewed me, but sometimes it takes you a bit longer to find the lesson or the silver lining and that's okay. If it's a mistake you make or a small hiccup on a day to day basis, I always practice finding the lesson and finding the positive because you can't grow unless you find the lesson.
Usually if you make a mistake or you have a slip up where you're going through a hard time, there is a silver lining which is usually a lesson so that you don't repeat it in the future, which means that you're growing and that always makes me feel happy. With grief, of course, it takes a while for some, it depends how you lose people. The silver lining for me in this is that she was 97, she lived a long life and she had Alzheimer's. If she lived any longer, maybe she would have got to a point where she didn't remember her family and I don't think that would be a good reason to keep living.
So the silver lining that I'm finding in that is that I think she did go at a good time. She went at a time when I'm living at home at the moment because my house is getting renovated, so I've got all of my family around me. I'm able to be there for my mum to support her and that's the silver lining in that and we wouldn't have wanted to see our grandma decline more than she was, so that's the silver lining that I'm finding in it and I'm trying my best to just reflect on all the beautiful times that I've had with her. Whatever hard time you're going through, always try your best, and I know it can be hard and it can take a lot more time depending on how big the thing is that you're going through, is to find that lesson.
There's all different degrees, but the more you practice this, the more that it helps you as well to stay positive about what you're going through, because in some way that there can be a lesson or some way that it's making you stronger in the future. I also think that the hardships that you go through in life make you a more compassionate and kind person to understand when someone else goes through something similar to you, and then you can help them in a way and when you help them, it makes you feel good.
So that's a silver lining as well, because when you can help and support other people, that's really important. That in turn can actually fill your cup up and I think that's why I'm so addicted to this business and helping you because it does truly make you feel really good.
The other thing that I want to talk about is this, because you can absolutely relate this one to keeping up your healthy habits in terms of exercise and eating, but of course, in terms of continuing what you need to do to grow your career, grow your business etc. this tip will relate to you.
I often say on this podcast - think about how you're going to feel after which absolutely applies here. So if you're thinking about exercise, let's say you're going through a challenging time and you wake up and you're feeling a bit flat, you're feeling a bit tired, you're not feeling motivated - that's exactly how I felt this morning and that's how I felt yesterday. Think about how you're going to feel after.
So in terms of exercise, when you stop thinking about exercise as a calorie burning tool and you really start noticing how it actually increases your energy and it boosts your mood, that helps you continue to go, so that is why I still went to the gym this morning and that's why I still got to the gym yesterday. So I'm recording this after the gym and I’ve blasted music, did a fairly small workout, but everything helps and then it made me feel a lot better and it set me up for the next five hours of work.
I'm just doing a five hour day today. It helps me to really think about the feeling after, but not only that, when I asked people on Instagram yesterday what they wanted to hear on the podcast, someone asked - how do you not let your healthy habits slip for an entire week at a time? So this is one thing that helps - thinking of the feeling after, but also to think about how you're going to feel in a week's time or how you're going to feel in two weeks time.
So if you really think about how your consistent healthy eating is making you feel or how your consistent exercise is making you feel and then you suddenly reach something that feels hard in your life - how will you feel if you give all of that up? How will you feel in a week or two? You'll probably lose some fitness, you might gain some weight, you might start to feel really exhausted, all the positive feelings that you're feeling now, if you just neglect your healthy habits for a week or two.
Just look forward and think about how you're going to feel and that helps you stay on track too. When I say “on track”, this is another tip that helps me, and I know will help all of you, is when times feel tough, just tell yourself that you're just going to do 50% of what you normally do because 50% is better than 0%.
50% is enough to keep you on track and keep you in maintenance mode with your business growth, with your health journey, with your fitness, but doing 0% will slowly make you go backwards, right? What I do at hard times is I just tell myself - okay, I'm going to do three quarters of the amount of work today or half the amount of work to allow myself the time to make those phone calls I need to make, those hours that I need to cry or to be there with my family if it's a family issue like it is now.
Of course, there's all different kinds of issues that we go through in life but I allow myself to do the things I need to, but then I also set myself the time to show up for my business and also to go to the gym and really thinking about the feeling after helps me on the day, but also when I look forward to a week or two.
So what helps me show up for business every day, even if it's just 50% is that if I didn't, then in a week's time, if I didn't work for a whole week, I know not everyone would relate to this, but with the nature of my business, if I just didn't work for a whole week, the following week would be far more stressful because there'd be a lot more catch up work to do and I don't want to do that. I'd rather do a little bit each day and then not feel so overwhelmed the following week. So that's another thing that helps me personally stay on track. So always aim for just 50%. You don't always have to do 100% everyday to have a productive and good day, if that makes sense.
Eating and exercise - it takes time to build certain habits. This is going to be easier if you're already quite far into your healthy eating, weight loss and your fitness journey to keep those habits going. It's going to be a bit more challenging if you're at the beginning and if you're at the beginning stage, I would really recommend that you take more time if you're going through a challenging time to organise and plan at night or at the beginning of the week, because if you've got a stressful week ahead or if you're going through a challenging time, if it's not a habit yet in your life, it can just absolutely fall to the side because it's not a habit yet and until something's a habit, it's very hard to keep that up. Even just 50% of the time, like I've just said.
So what I recommend if you're someone that's new to your healthy eating changes or your fitness journey is to know that in stressful, hard times, your healthy habits will slip away. So unless you actually schedule things in, they might not happen. So I would really take the time to sit down at night, whether it's on the weekend or whether it's a Tuesday, because remember we shouldn't always think - okay, I'm going to start on Monday! We all have time to really sit down and just organise ourselves and lock things in.
So you might want to sit down and just plan your groceries for the week ahead, make things as easy as you can, choose two of your favorite meals to just cook on repeat. Maybe cook up some big batches of food to have in your freezer, so that on the days that it feels too hard to cook, you've got food there and just be a bit extra organised in that way, but it really does take that time. If you want to be organised and have a healthy week, it does just take that just a little bit of time to prepare for that week ahead.
With exercise, put it in your calendar, book those exercise classes and just book it in because that is going to really help you as well, so I think they're the main things that I wanted to say in this podcast. They're four key things that I do to help me through these times and like I said at the beginning, it definitely has taken practice and I also feel very blessed in my circumstance because I do love what I do and whilst it's absolutely unhealthy to distract yourself from what you're going through in life, I absolutely don't, I don't use work as a distraction, but I use it in a healthy way. I'm not doing eight, nine, ten hour days, when I go through challenging times. I give myself time to grieve, I cut my work hours down and I do what I need to do, but I find it actually quite easy to show up and do what I need to do because I love the work that I do. I love helping you.
I've got so much support from my team now that I've really worked hard to grow a team. I'm so blessed to have Kat. She has taken so much off my hands in the last couple of days and without really working hard to train her to do that, I wouldn't be able to sit back a bit more in the last week and deal with what I've had to go through. So Kat, if you're listening, thank you. To the rest of my team members, thank you. That's just another little quick tip as well - ask for support. Lean on people in as many ways as you can so that they can take some of the tasks off your hands so that you can have time to process and grieve what you're going through and then in the hours that you do show up, you can give it your all, like I've just done for this podcast.
So I really hope that this podcast has inspired you in some way. I hope this helps you get through a challenging time if you're going through one now. Just remember that this episode is here for when a challenging time pops up in your life because life is full of ups and downs all the time and to grow and to reach our goals, like I always say, it does take consistent small steps every day. Some weeks won't be as good as others, but sometimes you can just give it 50% or even 20% some days.
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